My younger self

There might be some downfalls to having a long memory. I can remember myself at my very best and when I'm not operating like that it's hard on me. For instance, in high school, I automatically prayed about every problem. It was the first thing that occured to me to do.

Well, I guess I need to be perfectly honest. It was not the first thing I thought to do in my advanced math class. At the time of the final, there was the distinct possibility I would fail. I did pray before the final and actually got an A on the test. Sadly I think the teacher thought I cheated (he had that look on his face when he returned my test) and I was too embarrassed to tell him that instead of studying the night before, I had prayed. I always felt bad for him that he was disappointed in me. He might not have believed in the prayer method of study but it might have been nice to give him that info. Probably too late now.

But math (and chemistry) aside, I expected things to go well. And prayer kept me from worrying. I had a really cool Sunday School teacher. She was an actress, who gave acting classes to stunt men. I guess to help them look more like the actors they were doubling. I went to Sunday School every week and it was a cool class. All of us were in high school and we all talked about the good that went on in our lives and how prayer was helping us.

So now, when I seem to worry all the time, I remember a time when I didn't worry or plan what I will do when the bottom falls out or all hell breaks loose. And it's not like I have stopped praying. I still go to church every week. I still believe God is listening, it's just, sadly, prayer is not always my first response. And I worry a lot that things won't go smoothly.