Wednesday, March 30, 2011

How can you miss me if I don't go away?










It has been an amazing 4 months. I didn't mean to leave this blog. And in odd little ways I didn't. I would be driving and think of a post. And I'd think oh I can record that on my new small hand-held recorder. Sadly, I have not read the manual for the gizmo, so not knowing how to get it not to record over itself, my brilliant ideas were lost -- hence the deafening silence!

The holidays were a bit dis-jointed. My daughter came home for Thanksgiving. My son for Christmas. Different work schedules. I missed having them here together. I love them very much individually. And that's a good thing, for try as I will to make them alike, they are wonderfully different & unique. But I also really love them together. I love how they get along. I love that they "talk" to each other every Sunday. I think it's on IM or txt messages or maybe skype. They keep their relationship between themselves. It's everything I didn't have with my family and I love it!

Then in January, this California girl went home. I spent the whole month in the Golden State. I spent time with my daughter in the bay area. I saw a friend I haven't seen since our high school graduation. I spent my dad's 85th birthday with him puttering around on his boat, walking on the beach, and trying out a new frozen yogurt place. I reconciled with my sister, who I haven't spoken to in 2 years. I stayed a week with my mom. I celebrated my birthday having dinner with 4 wonderful women, friends from PTA, mothers of my kids' friends. I went to Disneyland with my sister and we had a blast! And I ended the month taking a weekend's worth of art classes which changed my life.

There's nothing like a birthday to put your life in perspective. I actually discovered what I want to be when I grow up. And, it's what I've wanted to be my whole life -- an artist. I don't know what it was about the weekend of art, but it was magical. I've taken lots of art classes & workshops -- since I was 11 years old. But this was different. There was something amazingly empowering. I felt welcome as soon as I got to the shop, turned classroom. A lot of it had to do with one of the teachers. She & I had been reading each other's blogs for a couple months. When I introduced myself she was so excited to meet me. It was an unexpected response and set the tone! And that was all before any art was made!

February was spent in bed. On the one hand that was not too pleasant. On the other I spent a lot of time thinking about things, letting the insights I had on my trip coalesce. I also discovered Hulu! Man, there are some amazing old tv shows out there to watch!

They say it takes 28 days to establish a habit. In February I got into the habit of staying in bed, eating a lot of chicken soup, drinking a lot of orange juice, reading in bed, sleeping - a lot, watching tv. So March has been a bit challenging putting my insights, desires and plans into practice. But it has been an amazing year up til now and I feel confident and rather joyful about what lies ahead. Even if it doesn't involve reading in bed all day!