Monday, October 26, 2015

Getting My Life in Order


Three weeks ago I started an online course entitled Blogging from the Heart.  Now in general, I like taking classes.  I'm not always real good at finishing them, but I always start out quite gung ho.*  This course started the same, great enthusiasm, lots of note taking and pondering.  Then I noticed something wonderful: I kept going!  I have read all the lessons so far.  I have done all the exercises.  And the weekends are a little sad because there are no lessons then!  It's a first for me.  The only thing I hadn't done is write a new blog post.

Monday thru Friday I get a lovely message in my inbox from Susannah Conway, with a lesson pertaining to that week's topic. So far I have examined blogs I love; written a mission statement; examined why I want to blog; and discovered the unasked, but for me, more important question, "why did you start your blog?" I have also looked at who I am writing for, finding my voice, being original and being vulnerable, plus getting all sorts of tips on writing, etc. This course is amazing!

Today when I opened the email I was particularly struck by the encouragement --
 " . . . hopefully you feel a little more comfortable about sharing your heart on your blog."  
So I came over here, because this is a blog where I have shared my heart.  And I realized this is still a blog where I want to share my heart.  It has been two years since I posted here.  My last series of posts were cathartic.  But also wrung me out.  I guess I needed the break.

This morning I read those old posts and knew it was time to get my life together, as it is now.  New issues.  And to do that I think I need to be a lot kinder to myself.  I have a lot of things I want to accomplish and a tendency, when overwhelmed, to stay in bed, read, or watch netflix.

Today I am giving myself a break -- a break from scolding myself.   From thinking before hand I can't get anything done, so why try.  From all the family members (me included) who have defined me as lazy or unproductive.  From thinking that whatever I do is the wrong thing and whenever I start it is already too late.

Instead I am going to notice the things I do today.  And I am going to rejoice in them.  In my 20's I was a summer camp counselor at a co-ed church camp.  Every Sunday evening we had a staff meeting -- to give needed information and also to share the good things that had happened that week.  The counselor for the littlest boys (6-7 yr olds) shared that each day he looked to find something to be grateful for in each of his campers.  One camper was very challenging.  The whole staff knew about him.  But the counselor said this camper brushed his teeth every day and while it was the only thing he found to be grateful for, at least there was this!  So while I think I will do more today than brushing my teeth, I know there is one thing I can be grateful for in myself!

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