Learning from the movies

I am a sappy romantic.  I love romantic movies and television shows and the idea that people might be fated to be together.  I could name more than a dozen movies with the concept of fateful meeting or staying together despite all odds.  I could also name movies like The Way We Were, Two for the Road and Casablanca, which I also love, where true love did not win out.  It just seems to me that watching someone else on the screen (big or small), can sometimes tell me what is true in my life. 

Today I was wondering what keeps people together, when sometimes the bad memories overwhelm the good.  If two people belong together how do they deal with feelings of disappointment, of potential unrealized?  How do I deal with those things?  How do I reconcile the idea that some people belong together, with my belief that there is not just one person for each of us.  Does fate play a role in real life, the way if often does in the movies?  What keeps couples together?  What has kept us together?  There have been times when I was ready to leave.  Times when he was ready to leave.  And yet, here we are.  Still together.

I guess what I really wish is that I wasn't so aware of the difficult times.  I haven't forgotten them.  I'm not the most forgiving person in the world.  I can hold onto grudges and old hurts.  And while I am very proud of my amazing memory and all the wonderful things of the past, it's not a selective memory, more's the pity!  Where are the machines from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?

I do not have an answer.  I do not know what is needed of me to let go of the ugly past and keep only the golden shining memories.  And is it realistic to do so?  As with all things in my life I want to work out, I will keep thinking and writing and watching romantic movies to see if I can find the answers.