Holding On & Letting Go

It's been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon . . .

Last Saturday my daughter came home to get fitted for contacts lenses. Perhaps we should have waited a month til the end of the semester. But it is nice to be able to see the blackboard and know who you are waving to.

Coming home may have been too much of a contrast with her school life. This past week has been real tough for her. She had a paper due (since she is taking 4 English courses this semester to complete her Writing, Publishing, Literature major, when doesn't she have a paper due?) and it was not going well. I even promised she did not have to return to school next year. But in the meantime, please eat something.

The paper got completed and turned in on time. She took herself out to eat with my credit card, things were good for a little while.

Then the left contact lenses started giving her a hard time. It hurt, it wouldn't go in, it wouldn't come out. No I was not mad that I had spent the money on them. Yes, I was pretty sure the doctor could sort them out and give her a new one that fit better when she sees him in another week. Why don't you take them both out and just take a nap.

My daughter's week was all about holding on. (r)

My son's was about letting go. (l)

On Thursday morning my son got in his car and drove west toward Yosemite, where he has a job as cook's helper at the Yosemite Lodge. On Wednesday night after everything was packed, he sat down next to me and said, "I don't think this is where I want to go."

It is a fine line between pushing my kids to do what they have agreed to do and telling them it is ok to bag it. The rules are clear. They have to have given it a lot of thought and prayer. I want them to be happy. I want them to be good people.

We talked. He decided to go anyway. If he hates it, he can come home (as long as he gives them adequate notice). I understand his dilemma. He's tired of people going ga ga about Yosemite. The desert is what calls to him -- he would prefer to be at Joshua Tree National Monument, or Death Valley National Park. And he's so done with culinary. Summer jobs since HS, college work-study in the dish-room, he's just not that into food! He has a degree in environmental studies. Just being at Yosemite may open lots of doors. He knows it's a good thing to go -- he just has to find the balance between head and heart.

I wanted to hold on to my son and let go of my daughter, but that's not what my job was this week.