My daughter loves Facebook. It is a lifeline to her. She has specifically asked me NOT to join Facebook! And I'm really glad!
Now, I'm not against parents checking out their kids' Facebook pages. For some, this is the most responsible thing to do and I applaud that. Any tool to take care of your kids and keep them safe is wonderful! But my girl is 22, a senior in college and she calls me whenever something bothers her. I don't need to see her Facebook page. She's earned her privacy. Just like I haven't told my family about this blog. I like the privacy too.
What triggered this was a program on NPR about a 40-something woman who had set up her mom's Facebook account and then was agonizing because she really didn't want to allow her mom to friend her. She definitely didn't want her dad to either and she was feeling enormous guilt about the whole thing. The program mentioned a website dealing with this very issue! Oh Crap . . .
It was the mom who spends so much time viewing her son's page she feels like a stalker, that reminded me how glad I am not to be on Facebook. This mom knew she was being obsessive, but couldn't help herself. I heard her and thought I would be just as obsessive about my daughter's life and her friends' lives. My daughter would be mortified if I tried to friend them! They might be too, for that matter!
I think I'm going to send an email to my girl telling her how glad I am not to be on Facebook. I won't tell her its because I would spend all my time checking up on her. That's best left unsaid. She'll think it's weird, but then anytime I'm too self-analytical she thinks its weird. Hmmm d'ya think she thinks I'm weird all the time? Maybe she doesn't think about me enough to do so? I hope!
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3 comments:
Tiny: My honey just told me about this story tonight; funny how we know what our limits are. And, really the original intention of Facebook was supposed to be on line communities of persons who went to school/college together. Now, I have over one hundred friends, from high school to work to blogger friends. My dad just joined, but whatever he sees there is no different than he knows me to be!!!!!
Your daughter has not been suggested as a friend (sometimes FB suggests people from your email contacts or friends of friends), but another daughter has. I know she'd be horrified if I friended her!
Yes, I know that "friended" is not actually a word.
Susan..."Googled" wasn't a word; it is now.
"Friended" is next.
While I did insist that my girls "friend" me as a prerequisite to having an account, I also told them then DID NOT have to friend my mother. And I have a policy to never ask a teenager to be my friend. However, if they ask me, I willingly accept. And then I totally check out what they are doing. But mine are teens-of-a-certain-dangerous age. And after all...they invited me onto their pages, right?
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