Moving On

It seems that I am writing the same things about my kids as I did last year. They still are not sure they want to leave home, still not sure they don't want to chuck it all to live in their bedrooms, watch cartoons and ask me if I mind very much making them dinner.

A month ago my daughter left for Berkeley, California. Yesterday my son left for Austin, Texas. He's off on a new adventure and he's not sure . . . He has a friend who works in an office job and on the side buys rental real estate. His friend has already purchased 4 quadraplexes.

He thinks this is what he would like to do -- get a day job, establish a good work and credit history, buy rental property. He also has Americorps tuition-credit, so he's wondering about grad school.

My first response to real estate in Texas was, "Can't you do this in California?" His just gave me "the look." You know the one that says mom as a two or three syllable word? Days passed. He finally explained that Texas has two advantages (three, no one expects the Spanish Inquisition): his friend is there doing this very thing; his friend's dad is there and has owned rental property for over 30 years; California real estate is more expensive. Good points. I can move back to Calif even if my kids don't live there!

He is driving to Texas. He got his first cell phone and we added him to our family plan so he would have a way to get job phone calls. He calls each night to tell me where he is -- Virginia the first night. Arkansas tonight. And each call ends with, "Mom, I don't know if this is what I should be doing."

I don't know either. But I know it really is time for him to leave home. There are no good job prospects here. Real Estate is pretty expensive. There's a certain inertia that happens to the kids who stay here and all but one of his closest friends have left.

I'll miss him. He's been my tv buddy this summer. We've been watching summer shows -- Warehouse 13, Eureka, Burn Notice, etc. So while his dad is off playing or teaching music, my boy and I sit on the couch & watch tv together. I can talk, but only at the commercials. He'll explain what I have missed if I am attempting to watch tv and be on the computer simultaneously.

When I woke up this morning I was the only one home. My husband left for work at 0-dark-100. My son left yesterday. The house felt different. There was a different energy.

It kind of feels like we're all moving on -- finding that next thing which calls to us. I spent the whole day making art. It'll be interesting to see how we all weather this year and what lessons we learn.

Beauty In The Simple Things

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be an artist.

Bob Dylan's lyrics She's got everything she needs/She's an artist/She don't look back were the words I wanted to live my life by. I still get a secret smile on my face when I hear the song or think the lyrics.

I have a friend who is an artist and she has always intimidated me. I love her work. I think I am what is called in art circles, a major collector of her work. We probably own 20 pieces.

But my work tends to be a little too much on the craft side for her. I know she has great expectations for me that I haven't fulfilled. Charles Schultz said it best, "There is no greater burden that great potential."

Today as I was starting a project, I opened my inspiration book and discovered the page headed

WHO ARE YOU?
AND WHAT IS IT YOU ARE TRYING TO SAY?

I have struggled for years with what I was trying to say. My artist friend is big on having something to say with one's art. And until today I didn't consciously know my answer.

Today I realized I do have something to say. And what I want to say with my art is that Life is Beautiful. Beauty is all around. Beauty is in the simple things.

I don't want to address larger political issues when I am creating. I don't want to right the wrongs of the world. Those are important things and I care about them, but when I am creating I just want to make beautiful things that make people smile or catch their breath and feel good.

OK, I'm at the end of what I want to say. How do I conclude in some grand way? Maybe there isn't a grand conclusion. Maybe it's just enough to know I do have something to say and get on with making art!