She Don't Look Back

 That's the part of the lyrics I have always struggled with.  On the one hand I love looking back.  I am fond of telling stories.  My young adulthood was a most magical time and I mine it for smiles all the time.  But I think Dylan was talking about a woman who didn't bother with regrets.  And while I have no regrets from  high school or college, I have looked back over the last decade or so and wondered if the song lyrics still pertain to me.

I discovered theatre in high school.  Freshman year in college I wandered over to the theatre building and that's where I spent all my time for the next year and a half.  I was certainly too quiet and self conscious to take acting classes, but I felt right at home in the design/tech part of a production.  I loved the creativity. Designing sets is a combination of drafting skill and artistry.  Costuming is a combination of sewing skills and creativity.  And building sets, painting backdrops, sewing costumes with a bunch of dedicated folks is absolute heaven -- no matter how late you have to be there! 
 
However, the reason I love the lyrics is they were the first time someone told me I was an artist.  I had a friend.  I met him that freshman year in theatre design class.  He was an artist and hip and experienced and someone I felt amazingly connected to.  He really made me feel special.  We'd go to a party and I always knew where he was, we'd catch each others eye and smile at some private joke.  We'd jump into each others conversations from the across the room without skipping a beat.  At least that is how I remember it.  I never thought it would go anywhere -- like marriage or children, but I loved being in his company and he was always a lot of fun.  He was someone I felt comfortable talking to and sharing my feelings.  Since I was usually tongue-tied around guys I liked, this was a revelation!  We stayed friends all through college.

I don't remember exactly how it came about, but I must have been bemoaning the fact that I wasn't an artist and I wish I was, or something like that.  And my friend quoted Dylan,  "She's got everything she needs/she's an artist/she don't look back."  That's you, he said.  Art is a state of mind.  You are an artist because of who you are, not what you do.

Powerful stuff.